Sunday, April 6, 2014

Finding Hope in Hard News

To say the past week has been a rough week for news would be an understatement. It was actually a pretty terrible week in that regard. We saw our staff team shrink from seven people to only four. And we found out there would be no stint team to pass the torch to next year. Just as we were feeling more hopeful and encouraged by the direction the movement was taking these things happen. Talk about loss of momentum. It's like the wind was completely stripped from our sails. The new school year is starting and I feel completely deflated.

With all this coming at me, God and I have been having some pretty frank and difficult conversations. They mostly consist of me asking "why?" and struggling to see how these could possibly be in his good and perfect plan for Japan. It's scary to feel betrayed by the One being you want to lean upon completely. It hurts deeply to see the ministry hindered like this.

But today as I took some time to reflect on the past week something struck me about these conversations. I realized that even though I've been struggling to come to terms with the realities of where our ministry is now, the fact that I can be so honest with the Lord about my feelings speaks to the existence of some deep underlying faith in his goodness. I wouldn't be able to open up, complain, struggle, if I didn't believe deep down that God cared.

As difficult as this has been, how much more hopeless would I feel if I were stuck with these thoughts but had nowhere to turn for hope? Even as I struggle, there is light at the end of the tunnel because I know God is there.

Realizing that encouraged me and spurred me to go even deeper- thinking about why I'm able to believe God cares and that he is sovereign in all things. As I meditated on aspects of his character and things that are true about him I turned to the Psalms. David is a great example of someone who deeply understood who God was and the implications of that to their relationship. He knew God to be big and holy and powerful and compassionate and just, so he could present every situation good or bad and process it with the Lord.

In Psalm 28 and 29 I found the encouragement I've been needing.

 
Blessed be the Lord!
For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults,
and with my song I give thanks to him.
The Lord is the strength of his people;[b]
he is the saving refuge of his anointed....
Oh, save your people and bless your heritage!
Be their shepherd and carry them forever.
Psalm 28: 6-9

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness...
The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;
the Lord sits enthroned as king forever.
Psalm 29: 2; 10
 
 
I can hope because God is my strength and my shield. I trust in his goodness and I am helped. When I am overwhelmed and downtrodden, he is my saving refuge and my shepherd. I don't turn my sorrows over to a weak or insignificant god, but the Lord who sits enthroned as king forever. His reign is eternal, his power uncompromised, his goodness indisputable. Whatever may come my way, I know I can overcome because this is the God in whom I have chosen to place my trust.
 
He will sustain me.


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