Who We Really Are

Oh the selfie. My generation truly has a love-hate relationship with this photo genre. I can't say I'm a huge fan though I am guilty of taking a few...but I digress. You really don't care about my selfie habits, nor should you!

My favorite popsicle is back for the summer! Definitely deserves a selfie ;)

My relationship with the selfie has been evolving during my time in Japan. This is mostly due to the Japanese obsession with image and portrayal and the incredible shallowness that is built up through this preoccupation. The more contact I have with this culture and its habits the more God has shown me how these things reveal such a need for the gospel.

Even without living here an extended amount of time, you would come to realize the Japanese love their photos. IPhones, photobooths, tiny toy cameras, giant professional-grade point and shoots, photo-capturing devices are everywhere.

Nearly everyone is a photographer in some way. The culture is obsessed with capturing moments that declare one's economic well-being or social desirability. My facebook newsfeed is always filled with artistically framed photos of food at all the cafes my friends visit or cutesy selfies in said cafes with their friends. Everything must be captured so it can be held onto as something that happened, something tangible that gives value and identity.

I've experienced another aspect of that pursuit of identity firsthand when sharing on campus. Countless times after a conversation, my new friends will ask to take a photo to commemorate our time together. It's a fun idea- I love that they are so eager about the start of our friendship. And I love the concept of recording even more mundane moments throughout the day. But it also makes me sad because it glosses over a very deep need for real love and acceptance. I wonder how many pictures are taken of empty, hollow relationships. How many of these images record real experiences shared with real people.

It has forced me to really look into my own heart as well. In particular, this year I joined the world of Instagram and was inundated with a whole new world of images, perfectly filtered and cropped to portray everyone's beautiful, fulfilling lives. Based on my own life, I'm fairly certain a lot of these Instagram feeds don't tell the whole story. Usually they don't document the sickness, the arguments, the darkness, the loneliness. Even chaos is carefully orchestrated and artistically arranged. It reminds me again of something in Japanese culture- purikura, or photo booths. Popular especially among tween and teen girls, purikura allows you to give yourself bigger eyes, lighter skin, longer and thinner legs. Lips are rosier, eyelashes longer- nothing is as it appears. Like Japanese girls airbrushing themselves into oblivion in the photobooths, things like Instagram allow us to shape and cultivate our image and choose what the world knows about us.

As a female, heck as a person, I understand why Japan is obsessed with image. Facing this temptation myself everyday, I get it.

I get it, but I also have truth to combat the obsession. Inundated with advertisements on trains, billboards, pamphlets, I also fight to remind myself daily that my identity rests solely in the Lord. It breaks my heart to think of how many people here don't know their true identity. The reason they take all these photos, manipulate themselves with photoshop, frantically document every little thing, is because they're seeking affirmation. They want to be known and loved and accepted. They cling to their image because that is where they find their worth. What a tragic and impossible lifestyle!

God reminds us of our identity countless times throughout the Bible. To the Israelites in Exodus 20 he reminds them that he is their God who brought them out of slavery. Therefore they belong to God and are free. 1 Peter 2:9 tells us we are a chosen people, a holy nation, a people belonging to God. 2 Corinthians 5:17 declares us to be new creations in Christ Jesus. The list goes on. And all are true of us, for all eternity, just because God said so.

We don't have to impress God with our popularity or looks. When he looks at us he sees Christ, perfect, righteous, holy, beautiful. We are his children, dearly loved and more precious than gold. Why would we taint that with our proctored selfies or shallow albums full of all the lattes we've consumed? How do those things affect who we are on the inside?

The truth is they don't. They have no power. That is where Japan is so misled, why there is such a desperate need for the gospel. It is the gospel alone that perfectly, wholly gives people purpose and meaning. The gospel redefines who we are and brings fulfillment in the process. No amount of selfies or likes on Instagram is ever going to bring the kind of eternal satisfaction that comes from being completely confident with who we are in Christ.

In the Face of Evil

Regarding Japan, Christians talk a lot about dry soil, hardened hearts, a slow harvest, barriers to the gospel. Satan has had a centuries long hold on this place, slowly building a massive web of lies and deceit entangling the island. As unconcerned and tuned out as the Japanese might seem to spiritual things, the battle for their souls is incredibly real. Fierce, desperate spiritual warfare goes on around us constantly, usually without our slightest awareness.

I consider myself a pretty sensitive and observant individual. I notice things. But lately I've been realizing how little I notice the spiritual aspect of this place. I acknowledge the reality of the hold Satan has here, but seldom do I actually feel the tangible nature of the evilness that surrounds me.

Monday I experienced some of it and it was a sad, scary thing.

On our day with the Lord, I felt called to go to Meiji Shrine at Harajuku to pray over it. Built in the 1910's to honor the deified Emperor Meiji and his wife Empress Shouken, it is one of the most popular shrines in Japan. In the first few days of the new year it sees millions of visitors come through.

A massive Shinto gate marks the entrance to the shrine grounds. As I approached, I was reminded of verses declaring the Lord's worthiness and that one day all creation would acknowledge him as God. I pictured the huge solid beams of wood before me snapped in two, literally bowing down before the one true God. I prayed that image would become reality soon, that God would claim for himself the worship currently being given to false idols.

Walking under the gate I immediately felt weighed down. I don't know how to describe the air around me, but it made me sad and heavy. As I looked up at the beautiful avenue of trees creating a canopy over my head I was drawn to worship their Creator. But I also mourned because I felt sure I was the only one in that place with my thoughts directed towards Him. Surrounded by the beauty made by the Living God, the crowds of people walking with me were living in emptiness.

Once to the main shrine grounds, I took a seat on a bench, praying the Lord would open my eyes to see what he saw.

As I sat, I felt the weight on my heart grow heavier, and tears brimmed over the more I took in what was going on around me. Watching old couples climb the stairs to the shrine, bow, clap, and pray in unison broke me. I cried out for them, that they might hear the truth and be given real hope in Christ. Every clap that echoed in my ears made me cringe. I'd witnessed this many times before, but this time the empty ritual of these poor souls brought something darker to my mind. I pictured Satan standing over them, laughing gleefully, delighting in their misguided and worthless worship. As I thought of how God absolutely delights in the praise and worship of his children, it made me physically ill to think of Satan having such delight in seeing these people worshipping lies.

Another site caught my eye and cut me even deeper. A priest clad in pure white robes walked briskly across the courtyard to perform some ceremonial duty. Immediately Isaiah 1:18 came to mind- "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." White as the priest's garments. But I knew he was not white as snow on the inside. Though Christ has died for this man's sins and risen victorious so this priest might be redeemed before God, he does not know. He is living in a lie, a false sense of security regarding the destination of his soul. His white Shinto robes were a painful reminder of the reality of his sin-blackened soul.

The final straw in my pain was when another priest struck the shrine gong, marking some significant moment in the day. As tourists rushed over to snap a picture, I was paralyzed in my seat. Every strike of the gong sent a shiver through me. I can't describe it any other way except to say it was a very dark and oppressive sound. It was as if Satan were triumphantly declaring his hold over the place, a sound completely opposed to truth and hope and light.

Leaving my bench and walking out of the Meiji grounds, I was surprised at how physically drained I felt. I was almost to the point of shaking and even felt short of breath. This was the most spiritual experience I have had while visiting a shrine or temple here in Japan. As an art history student I usually can just view these places as architecturally impressive, not as places of idol worship backed by Satan. But this time was very different.

This time God revealed more spiritual reality to me. Satan is very real, his demons are very real, the struggle for souls is very real. I don't think I can say I am thankful for the darkness I observed on Monday. It made me really sad and I felt overwhelmed, paralyzed, even hopeless. Those are all scary things to feel.

Even as I write this I don't know if I've recovered from this experience. I don't know if I ever really will. But I'm praying the Lord would take this experience and fully redeem it to his purposes. As much evil as might exist in Japan, the ultimate reality is that Christ is risen and victorious over sin and death. Satan's time is short and he knows it. In the end, God will receive the glory of all nations, tribes, and tongues as it was always meant to be. Until that glorious day, I pray he would continue to sanctify me through experiences like these so I might better understand and live out his great love for the lost.

Cherishing Springtime

As my last two months in Japan begin to pass, I'm learning to soak in every moment in this place that has stolen my heart. Spring in Japan is a thing to behold, and I am grateful for this second opportunity to enjoy its delicate and fleeting beauty. The last few weeks have been filled with natural beauty and fun moments with friends...here are just a handful of shots to capture them.




Catching the last of the sakura

 

Happy newly weds

Wedding photos

Stacked weddings, so Japan

Reflections

Waseda vs. Keio American football game

Egg hunt at Yoyogi koen

Getting a hand from a neighboring picnicker

She's my favorite :)

Friends at our belated Easter picnic!

Tap Lovers forever

Kohei x 3

Carp banners on Children's Day

 

Blemished Sacrifices

Israel really can be so aggravating sometimes. Take in Malachi for example. In chapter one Malachi's word from God is this: "I have loved you," says the Lord." Encouraging right?

Well, listen to Israel's horrible response. "But you ask, "How have you loved us?"

I got really mad at them when I read that. Did they really just say that? Did they really just ask God how he had loved them? After all the years of faithfulness, all the times he had mercy on them and forgave them for their unfaithfulness because of his covenant with Abraham, did they really just ask for an example? How dense are they?

And there's more. The second section of chapter one deals with the "blemished sacrifices" they were bringing before the Lord.

God says "A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?...It is you, O priests, who show contempt for my name."

Israel's reply? "How have we shown contempt for your name?...How have we defiled you?"

They really are so thick headed sometimes.

Instead of bringing the firstfruits of all they had, they brought the crippled and diseased and blind. The animals they brought for sacrifice would not have pleased a human ruler, much less the King of heaven and earth. Yet they continued to light such useless fires before him.  And further still they complained about the burden of these offerings, sniffing at them contemptuously. Cheating God out of the whole and perfect offerings he alone deserves and complaining all the while...not good.

I was feeling pretty indignant by this point in my reading. When the Lord said "My name will be great among the nations, from the rising to the setting of the sun. In every place incense and pure offerings will be brought to my name, because my name will be great among the nations," I got even more annoyed. How could Israel be okay with bringing anything less than their best before God, the one whose name will be great among the nations of the world?

But then a small still voice in me asked this question- What about you Quinn? Aren't you as bad as the Israelites? Don't you bring blemished sacrifices before the Lord too? Why don't you consider the plank in your own eye before pointing out the speck in the eye of Israel?

Ouch.

All the things I was annoyed at Israel about, I am guilty of myself. Perhaps that's why I had such a strong response, it just hit too close to home.

Like Israel, I challenge the Lord's love for me, asking for proof after he has time and time again showered me with undeserved grace. I come before the throne of grace with mediocre offerings at best, ones that require little real sacrifice on my part. Even with these half-hearted attempts I grumble at the inconvenience and discomfort of having to sacrifice things like time or effort.

God had mercy on Israel for their blemished sacrifices; I know he has shown me the same mercy. He alone can redeem and use all the half-hearted attempts I have made, all the mediocre offerings I have been trying to pass off as acceptable ones. He has opened my eyes to my impudence, arrogance, laziness, disrespect and contempt of his name and forgiven me abundantly in all these areas.

I pray he teaches me what it means to bring acceptable sacrifices before him, to offer my very best and to do so in joy and thanksgiving. I pray that because his name will be made great among the nations and I want my offerings to be a true testimony to that great name.