1 Samuel and Prayer

"I was pouring out my soul to the LORD...

I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief."

1 Samuel 1:15-16

 

"If a man sins against another man, God may mediate for him;

but if a man sins against the LORD, who will intercede for him?"

1 Samuel 2:25

I've been learning a lot about prayer lately, mostly about how little I understand it, and quite honestly how poor I am at it. These two brief verses in 1 Samuel really speak to where my heart's desire for prayer lie.

In the first, Hannah is describing the intensity of her prayers for a son. The priest thought she was drunk because she was so lost in her conversation with the LORD!

Her strong language, pouring out her soul, praying in anguish and grief, struck a chord in me because my prayers are so not that. Rarely do I pray to the point of tears. Rarely am I so invested and burdened by the prayer needs I am lifting up that I am crying out in desperation and anguish of soul. I don't think one needs every prayer time to be overcome with emotion, but certainly there is power in a prayer so intense and fervent.

Hannah had been brought to a breaking point and in desperation and helplessness was crying out to her God. And he heard her cries.

There is desperation and brokenness and injustice and pain all around us. People die unloved and hopeless. Shouldn't this reality bring us to our knees to cry out in great anguish and grief to the only One who can save us? If our hearts truly broke for these things, wouldn't we be pouring out our souls to the Lord as much as possible? Wouldn't the body of Christ be inspired to pray because it is really the only thing we can do in the face of such suffering?

And yet here we are, here I am. I've signed up for shifts during our November 24/7 prayer movement and find myself distracted after a mere 10 minutes of talking to God. 10 minutes! How sad is that? Where is my anguish and my grief? Where is the pouring out of my soul for those who are walking in darkness, for my own sin? It's embarrassing really and I'm sure it grieves the Father.

The second verse hit home because I have been thinking a lot about intercession in the past week or so. During one conversation with God it struck me that here I am, covered by the intercession of Christ at the right hand of the Father AND the Holy Spirit in me interceding even when I have no words, and yet I so often just pray for myself.

There is nothing inherently sinful in this, and in fact most of the time it helps align my heart with the Lord's. But it is selfish of me, who has the constant intercession of the trinity on her behalf, to not lift up those who do not have this same intercession.

As the verse said, who will intercede for the one who has sinned against the Lord? We have all sinned against Him, some have repented, but for those walking in darkness to their own damnation, who will intercede for them?

Like Abraham did for Sodom, or Moses for the Israelites, I want to step in and call upon the Lord's great mercy and remind him of his many promises. I want to intercede for these people.

This role of intercession I believe is the greatest and most meaningful role I could take on. Thinking of some of the people I most respect and admire, most of them were humble, unassuming people who prayed faithfully and with power. They knew the Lord and came to him daily on their knees to lift up countless around them. And I believe their prayers were heard, answered, and lives were forever changed because of them. That is the kind of life I want to have.

Right now the more I learn about prayer the more I'm realizing how far I have to go. But God is gracious and slowly teaching me how to let go of my selfishness and pride to approach the throne of grace in humility on behalf of others. I'm thankful he has placed prayer at the forefront of my mind and is patiently sanctifying me in this area.